what a week

the past week has been a roller coaster. emotionally and physically. i'm exhausted. i'm relieved that's coming to an end. and happy as well. yesterday we had this even at work, and i had so much fun, i love my coworkers who i'm glad to call them as friends rather than coworkers, not all my coworkers share the same relationship i have with them, and i'm close to a few of them, and i love it. a few days before was my best's 21st birthday, and we went out to celebrate at dave and buster's. at the bar i really opened up to her, and i was good and bad. i said a lot of shit that i really thought i was going to keep to myself , but after saying it made me realize what kind of shithole i was in. she made it clear that i should fix it though, so i tried. i planned everything in my head on what to say and do. DIDNT COME OUT THE WAY I WANTED. i fucked up. big time, i'm jeopardizing a friendship with a really close friend. and the days were counting down where i wouldnt be able to see this person for awhile, let alone if she'll even respond or reply to my messages. but benefit of the doubt, as long as i do what was right, things will come out smoothly. it was hard, but i did respect her wishes. i honestly didnt do what i did to annoy or whatever. that's how i am. i know they might like be known as my bestfriends, but i never opened this up, but i think i can say i have 3 "best" friends, one that is known obviously, and the other two, i can say just unfolded. wether you agree or not, you have become one of my bestfriends now. i didnt mean to give you a certain kind of attention that would of pushed you away. i in fact love to be on my phone, i message the few same ppl daily, i didnt mean anything by it. with that said, i was worried that it was coming to an end. but i know i keep saying this, but i can't stress it enough, that i DO want to start over. i want to push all that shit that ppl talk about, that ppl spread rumors about, fuck all that, and just start over. back to the day where we can just sit down eat yogurt and talk about ethics. as much as i miss all the other stuff. i WANT it to be just like that. a simple close/bestfriend kind of relationship, nothing more nothing less. i'm also glad i went out last night, for your last night. ha. let me tell you, i had soo much fun. young crowd, so i did what i can, lmao. it feels good to get out of your shell though, and just have fun! maybe a month ago, i'd still be the person, who would be sitting down in the corner, drinking soda, and watch everybody have fun, nope, not anymore. i'm excited to just have fun! woohoo! sham woohoo! lol. well i got to get ready now, its my brothers first communion today, and then i have work. later days