cheesecake factory!

finally went to the cheesecake factory! didnt have any cheescake though! haha, all good, the food was good, the alcohol was good, haha thanks. but yeah, on the drive home, finally had the talk that i wanted for a while now. it was really nice, and happy to finally clear things up. ppl will talk no matter what, but f**k what you hear, as long as i know what is happening between us, then that's all that matters. like what it says on top of my page..you think you know, but you have no idea. and please please please, dont butt into my personal life, if i'm comfortable letting you know, then i will..i blog here for a reason..dont constantly call and message me expecting to read me like a book. hmmm yeah, i'm in the library right now, just got done uploading pics, you should go comment one or two, or three =)

ps: my car is black not silver! haha oh man that was hilarious.

*sigh*

finally back online! and being able to read her blogs..i'm happy and sad at the same time the past few days. especially after last night, i dont know what to think..i know its hard for me, and i can only imagine if its hard for you to. i honestly respect your views though, of wanting know what's in store for the future, not disappointing your mom, not getting to attached and watch it just get pulled away from right under you. and also my perspective, how i really dont want anything to change either..i LOVE how it is, but there is still the side of me, that want's something more. but scared to directly tell her..i can only think she knows how i feel deep inside. i'm shy, but she keeps me sane. i get comfortable as the mintues past, as the hours past, i get so comfortable. like i told her, i would never see this coming, but thankful it has happened. its like i keep asking myself, should i ask her for just one chance? i vow to not disappoint you. but at the same time i can't ask her that, its going to put so much pressure, and that alone can jeopardize our friendship. and i can never forgive myself if that were to happen..but for now, i'm keeping it how it is..and when she reads this, maybe she can shed more light on it..i'm not however going to get my hopes up..happiness is not to much to ask for, but that's all i want..

happy thoughts

i'm happy how things went. i really didnt know how it would turn out, letting my feelings out has always been a problem for me. i get scared. i hesitate. i think way to much. if i have something to say, i'll usually say it, it might take me awhile, but it makes me feel better when i at least let them know. i dont like the "what if" feeling..rejection is one of the worst feelings but that's life. but i can honestly say that i am more than grateful to still be able to continue our relationship without anything changing =) for the past few weeks i've grown this attraction which was brought about numerous factors. like when ppl mention your name, or when they say "aww, you two look cute together", i blush, i stutter, i dont keep my stories straight. why? its cuz you give me butterflies. not to sound cheesey, but you give me this special feeling..like i have a purpose to live, lol. i see myself being really happy with you, and i'd be very determined to treat you with the upmost respect that you deserve. but at the same time i think about the bad side to all this. ohhh we live in two different worlds, two different genres of lifestyle, way out of my league kinda thing, who even knew we'd get so close. but at the same time i was willing to make it work. and at the same time i didnt want anything to happen, cuz i didnt want to lose a good friend like you said. thank you setting the facts. i understand when you said you really want to know what's in store for the future. and honestly, i did think about that..it was on my negative list, ha. i didnt want to get to attached then all of a sudden its gone..i also kept thinking about, that i'd never be good enough for you anways..i dont suit your requirements or taste, or watever, your preferences..but you did clear up stuff, and i do agree with all of them. i like how we can both relate to each other, we can understand each others jokes, and talk about the past, as if we did grew up together..yeah, i know you can't be labeled as n******* #2, its not right, you dont really need a label, as long as we both know what we have, then that's good enough for me. but yeah, i know we talked about this all last night, this is just me killing time at home, expressing my thoughts in blog form, lol. thanks for everything, and everything in the future as well.

forever and a day

last night was cool. after work, cyndy invited me to her hall governent meeting..it was pretty interesting..made me miss my meetings back in sac when i was fundraising chair for samahang pilipino. newho, after the meeting, i headed back home, cuz she had another meeting to attend to, but its cool, i went to nichelle's house just to kick it for a little bit. went home, had my late evening/early morning text and twitter session with cyndy haha. she says i mock her tweets, but i say i was born first ;D

today i had off. originally planned to go sf to celebrate a "special friend"'s birthday, but since we no longer talking..its not happening..oh well..her lost not mines..i'm not going to let that shit bother me anymore..time to move on to bigger things..i like how things are progressing at the moment..i'm having fun! i've been going out, hanging out with my dope friend cyndy lately has been rewarding..i'm hanging out with her right now as i blog this! haha. its 1230 in the morning, but that's how we roll, haha. anyways back to my day. today nichelle picked me up and we went shopping..first at the great mall in milpitas then vintage faire in modesto..yes, we drove around like crazy, just to satisfy her shopping needs haha...when i got home, left again to go meet up with ms. liddoC here, we're in the library right now, and earlier we were looking back at our xangs and other old sites, it was fun! we both were embarassed on how we use to write and stuff, but made us think about the past. it was cool, she says her life is boring, i like to think otherwise. =) .. right now i'm just sipping my dr. pepper and eating some honey bbq fritos..thanks cyndy, i'll pay you back..you've done so much.. can't wait for 2mrw to watch the xmen premiere! thanks again for asking me..hmm guess that's it for now..later days

asparagus festival

so i finally went to the asparagus festival this year, for the first time after living in stockton for how long!? church first this morning, then after church went to go pick up cyndy , when i got her, went straight to the asparafest, walked around browsing all the vendors first. then bought our food tickets to get some food, first thing i tried was the asparagus steak sandwhich..pretty good. after we ate, watched a few performances, it was nice. after that hungry for more asparagus! haha so me and cyndy got some deep fried asparagus, mmmmmmmm! after that walked around some more, saw some pretty cool things, after a few hours , maybe about 5, finally headed out..before we left i bought more deep fried asparagus for gina, she was at chuck e. cheese , so i stopped by there real quick to drop it off, after that we went to jamba juice. then barnes and nobles and just read several books in the humor section while we were drinking our jamba haha. and in this one book i found out that it is ILLEGAL to wiggle when you dance in Stockton, CA. wtf right!? hahah! after all that , took cyndy home..and now i'm at home with nothing to do haha, i had a fun day, been awhile since i had a fun day.

saaaaaawoooooooop!

today went to class, after class went to target to pick up some soda for the nacho sale at work today..after getting the soda then going to the bank, headed to work, even though i was off today, i needed to help out with our fundraiser, cuz i'm part of the activity committee, we did pretty good, made more than 100 bucks, but that's not subtracting all the expenses we used, but i think we made good profit. after work, went straight home, cuz everyone has class till night today..boo. took a nap, went on a taco bell run, then now i'm watching the nba playoffs..

random question of the day..have you ever wondered if your dollar bill has been a stripper's buttcrack?? just a thought haha

you look kinda cute..in that polka dot bikini

best ever! do you know the title of that song? cuz i have no idea haha..

today i worked from 7-330..before work i went to mcdonalds to get myself a mocha..got to work..and as i about to enter the activity room, i put my coffee on top of my work binder so i can get my keys out to open the door..right when i opened the door..i sadly watched in slow motion my coffee fall to the floor..SPLASH!! all over the place..and over my white vans =( what a way to start the day..and i havn't even clocked in yet! hahaha. after work went to the bank, cuz i just got paid! then went to kfc to get some food, ate while watching some icarly haha, then took a nap, after i woke up..watched more tv, and its really hot to stay at home, but everyone is busy so i just played with my lil bros..just got done cooking them some egg for dinner haha, that's all i know how to cook..have the next two days off!