happy thoughts

i'm happy how things went. i really didnt know how it would turn out, letting my feelings out has always been a problem for me. i get scared. i hesitate. i think way to much. if i have something to say, i'll usually say it, it might take me awhile, but it makes me feel better when i at least let them know. i dont like the "what if" feeling..rejection is one of the worst feelings but that's life. but i can honestly say that i am more than grateful to still be able to continue our relationship without anything changing =) for the past few weeks i've grown this attraction which was brought about numerous factors. like when ppl mention your name, or when they say "aww, you two look cute together", i blush, i stutter, i dont keep my stories straight. why? its cuz you give me butterflies. not to sound cheesey, but you give me this special feeling..like i have a purpose to live, lol. i see myself being really happy with you, and i'd be very determined to treat you with the upmost respect that you deserve. but at the same time i think about the bad side to all this. ohhh we live in two different worlds, two different genres of lifestyle, way out of my league kinda thing, who even knew we'd get so close. but at the same time i was willing to make it work. and at the same time i didnt want anything to happen, cuz i didnt want to lose a good friend like you said. thank you setting the facts. i understand when you said you really want to know what's in store for the future. and honestly, i did think about that..it was on my negative list, ha. i didnt want to get to attached then all of a sudden its gone..i also kept thinking about, that i'd never be good enough for you anways..i dont suit your requirements or taste, or watever, your preferences..but you did clear up stuff, and i do agree with all of them. i like how we can both relate to each other, we can understand each others jokes, and talk about the past, as if we did grew up together..yeah, i know you can't be labeled as n******* #2, its not right, you dont really need a label, as long as we both know what we have, then that's good enough for me. but yeah, i know we talked about this all last night, this is just me killing time at home, expressing my thoughts in blog form, lol. thanks for everything, and everything in the future as well.