happy thoughts

i'm happy how things went. i really didnt know how it would turn out, letting my feelings out has always been a problem for me. i get scared. i hesitate. i think way to much. if i have something to say, i'll usually say it, it might take me awhile, but it makes me feel better when i at least let them know. i dont like the "what if" feeling..rejection is one of the worst feelings but that's life. but i can honestly say that i am more than grateful to still be able to continue our relationship without anything changing =) for the past few weeks i've grown this attraction which was brought about numerous factors. like when ppl mention your name, or when they say "aww, you two look cute together", i blush, i stutter, i dont keep my stories straight. why? its cuz you give me butterflies. not to sound cheesey, but you give me this special feeling..like i have a purpose to live, lol. i see myself being really happy with you, and i'd be very determined to treat you with the upmost respect that you deserve. but at the same time i think about the bad side to all this. ohhh we live in two different worlds, two different genres of lifestyle, way out of my league kinda thing, who even knew we'd get so close. but at the same time i was willing to make it work. and at the same time i didnt want anything to happen, cuz i didnt want to lose a good friend like you said. thank you setting the facts. i understand when you said you really want to know what's in store for the future. and honestly, i did think about that..it was on my negative list, ha. i didnt want to get to attached then all of a sudden its gone..i also kept thinking about, that i'd never be good enough for you anways..i dont suit your requirements or taste, or watever, your preferences..but you did clear up stuff, and i do agree with all of them. i like how we can both relate to each other, we can understand each others jokes, and talk about the past, as if we did grew up together..yeah, i know you can't be labeled as n******* #2, its not right, you dont really need a label, as long as we both know what we have, then that's good enough for me. but yeah, i know we talked about this all last night, this is just me killing time at home, expressing my thoughts in blog form, lol. thanks for everything, and everything in the future as well.

forever and a day

last night was cool. after work, cyndy invited me to her hall governent meeting..it was pretty interesting..made me miss my meetings back in sac when i was fundraising chair for samahang pilipino. newho, after the meeting, i headed back home, cuz she had another meeting to attend to, but its cool, i went to nichelle's house just to kick it for a little bit. went home, had my late evening/early morning text and twitter session with cyndy haha. she says i mock her tweets, but i say i was born first ;D

today i had off. originally planned to go sf to celebrate a "special friend"'s birthday, but since we no longer talking..its not happening..oh well..her lost not mines..i'm not going to let that shit bother me anymore..time to move on to bigger things..i like how things are progressing at the moment..i'm having fun! i've been going out, hanging out with my dope friend cyndy lately has been rewarding..i'm hanging out with her right now as i blog this! haha. its 1230 in the morning, but that's how we roll, haha. anyways back to my day. today nichelle picked me up and we went shopping..first at the great mall in milpitas then vintage faire in modesto..yes, we drove around like crazy, just to satisfy her shopping needs haha...when i got home, left again to go meet up with ms. liddoC here, we're in the library right now, and earlier we were looking back at our xangs and other old sites, it was fun! we both were embarassed on how we use to write and stuff, but made us think about the past. it was cool, she says her life is boring, i like to think otherwise. =) .. right now i'm just sipping my dr. pepper and eating some honey bbq fritos..thanks cyndy, i'll pay you back..you've done so much.. can't wait for 2mrw to watch the xmen premiere! thanks again for asking me..hmm guess that's it for now..later days

asparagus festival

so i finally went to the asparagus festival this year, for the first time after living in stockton for how long!? church first this morning, then after church went to go pick up cyndy , when i got her, went straight to the asparafest, walked around browsing all the vendors first. then bought our food tickets to get some food, first thing i tried was the asparagus steak sandwhich..pretty good. after we ate, watched a few performances, it was nice. after that hungry for more asparagus! haha so me and cyndy got some deep fried asparagus, mmmmmmmm! after that walked around some more, saw some pretty cool things, after a few hours , maybe about 5, finally headed out..before we left i bought more deep fried asparagus for gina, she was at chuck e. cheese , so i stopped by there real quick to drop it off, after that we went to jamba juice. then barnes and nobles and just read several books in the humor section while we were drinking our jamba haha. and in this one book i found out that it is ILLEGAL to wiggle when you dance in Stockton, CA. wtf right!? hahah! after all that , took cyndy home..and now i'm at home with nothing to do haha, i had a fun day, been awhile since i had a fun day.

saaaaaawoooooooop!

today went to class, after class went to target to pick up some soda for the nacho sale at work today..after getting the soda then going to the bank, headed to work, even though i was off today, i needed to help out with our fundraiser, cuz i'm part of the activity committee, we did pretty good, made more than 100 bucks, but that's not subtracting all the expenses we used, but i think we made good profit. after work, went straight home, cuz everyone has class till night today..boo. took a nap, went on a taco bell run, then now i'm watching the nba playoffs..

random question of the day..have you ever wondered if your dollar bill has been a stripper's buttcrack?? just a thought haha

you look kinda cute..in that polka dot bikini

best ever! do you know the title of that song? cuz i have no idea haha..

today i worked from 7-330..before work i went to mcdonalds to get myself a mocha..got to work..and as i about to enter the activity room, i put my coffee on top of my work binder so i can get my keys out to open the door..right when i opened the door..i sadly watched in slow motion my coffee fall to the floor..SPLASH!! all over the place..and over my white vans =( what a way to start the day..and i havn't even clocked in yet! hahaha. after work went to the bank, cuz i just got paid! then went to kfc to get some food, ate while watching some icarly haha, then took a nap, after i woke up..watched more tv, and its really hot to stay at home, but everyone is busy so i just played with my lil bros..just got done cooking them some egg for dinner haha, that's all i know how to cook..have the next two days off!

filippy floppies

so yeah, today i was suppose to have class at 9..but i just woke up like 30 minutes ago..haha so i missed it..i had a crazy night..celebrating 420! bad i know, but yeah, all i had was a headache and felt hella sick like i wanted to throw up..and hella emo status for some reason =( i kept reminiscing about past bullshit..and how i always ask the question..is happiness to much to ask for? idk, i beat myself up about alot of shit, even its not my fault..i think to much , as most people would say. so yeah that's part of why i had a hard time sleeping last night..and waking up late today..i have work later at 3, so i hope i'll be and ready by then haha. tomorrow is payday, thank goodness..i'm broke..i havn't been broke in so long, it feels wierd asking to borrow money from my mother haha, when its usually the other way around.

4/20 hitler's birthday!

o0o0o0weeee! lets get high today! hahaha not..or maybe ;D

i had an interesting day last night..i had work 1230-8 had hella paper work, so that took most of time..other than that watching batman forever with the residents haha. after work, went home first but then my room was so hot, so i was craving some icecream or something..so i went to go get cyndy, then we went to coldstone..mmmmmmmmmm cheesecake fantasy. after that went to ian's house, played the wii fit .. hella fun! haha i want one now for my wii.. theres a video posted up on youtube.. just search username "liddoc" and its the recent video, or the one that says "wii" on the title, haha go look it up its pretty funny. and if you havn't already watch the video that's on my myspace right now..its like the day in life with me hahah, how random i can be..ok that's pretty much it for now..no class or work today, hopefully something fun is down to happen haha.

stop being such a babae

yesterday for work i got to on a fishing trip with the residents! so exciting..i never been fishing to! it was me and keith, and we took 5 residents, just to oak grove and tried our luck, which wasn't really good, since we didnt catch anything after being there for 4 hours! it was cool though, i got to learn how to cast and reel. one time as i was casting, my hook got stuck in the tree haha! after our trip headed back to work, and when i got there i was hellaaaaaa tired i just wanted to go home and sleep, luckily there was only one hour of work left! haha, after work went straight home, actually i want to jack n the box first, cuz i was hungry, then after i ate while watching tv. took a quick nap. woke up, went to walmart cuz my brother was promised to get a new bike..shooot i never got a bike when i was young. booo. haha. they get all the cool stuff nowadays..ps3!? which i use majority of the time haha. after walmart when to meet up with cyndy. chilled at her dorm first, then checked out this "arabian nights" that was on campus haha, it was alright..then cyndy showed me around campus (univesity of the pacific) it's a really nice campus, and then we entered this nice ass building called the univesity center (uc) and i was like..am i allowed in here?? hahah. ate there for a lil bit..then headed back to cyndy's room..and we just chilled there til like 2am..watching youtube videos..haha we're dope. until next time..tootlelooo..

twitter!

ohhhh maaan, i totally just zoned out on blogging lately..not intentionally..i just simply forgot..and now that my laptop is up and running again, it'd be more easier to remind myself ! uhmm easter was cool, family from yuba city came down.. hella food .. hella full .. haha that's all i remember.

i recently joined twitter! its so cool, you should sign up if you havn't already.. and if you already have one, follow me! "cralpnga" its fun, cuz you can post updates on when and what your doing..and everyone who's "following" you knows whats up! and vice versa..and i signed up to recieve updates on my phone, so that's whats even cooler! taking advangtage of my unlimited text haha. newho, today i started my 5 day work stretch..blehhh.. gonna blog more soon!

bad day at work

yesterday was crazy, i got yelled by two nurses; a cna and a licensed one, a social worker, and got lectured by my boss, and the DON. (director of nursing.) gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it was so frustrating, cuz i didnt do anything wrong..yes i made a bad judgement call, but damn i've barely been there a year, and that was the first time i was put into that kind of situation..well i've been involved in several "code greens" (when a resident becomes assaultive) shiitt, i was even part of one, when i was the one being assaulted, but yeterday they were blowing shit out of proportion..i said my apologies for making a rookie mistake, but damn, give cut me some slack..and give me your apologies for making me feel like shit the whole day..aannyways, if you really want to know what exactly happened, let me know..haha cuz i'm pretty sure i can blog about it..but that'd be to much to read if you really dont want to hear about it..

today is thursday, one more day left for break, today's my day off, and guess what!? i'm here at home, its raining.. dont really fee like going out..gay gay gay. maybe its time to just sit back and contemplate on the meaning of life haha, tootles

fast & furious

yesterday..

woke up at 6.. stayed in bed till like 620 .. got ready then headed to work around 645 .. started at 7, i was the first one there, so i just headed to the dining room, to start making the coffee for the social. after the coffee social, i went straight to the tv room, and started watching the news till 845.. and after that my day was over, pretty much. haha, i did some catch up with some paper work, but i didnt really have much to do today, i watched beverly hills chihuahua, haha i thought it was going to be corny, but i actually liked it. and yeah, that was pretty much my day at work, played basketball in the back patio the last hour before work..i love saturdays =) gahhh today is my 5th straight day, finally off 2mrw..then back to work on tuesday! that's a gay, all good i get paid on tuesday, woohoo. after work, went home, hit up yoshi, cuz since thursday he wanted to show me something on his car, so i went to his house, such a long trip..like two houses down, haha. after that, we and all his cousins went to go watch fast and furious, that movie was cool, too much muscle though, not enough imports IMO..but the action was bad ass. after the movie, headed back home to his place, played yugioh haha with his cousins and his dad, went home around 11, then headed to bed...and that's how the cookie crumbles

big island boba

haha, best ever, sorry i know i was suppose to message you my whole dilemma, since i was confusing you the other day with my texts..message me on myspace, that should remind me lol.

gahhh, i'm currently going through a 5day work strech..bleh, i end on monday..i'm telling you, i call myself fulltime-partime haha, i'm only partime, but i work hellaaaaaa, all good .. if i didnt love my job, then that would be a problem. yesterday, after work , i want to meet up with sha sha, since i havn't seen her since december for her birthday, haha, we finally made plans, we ate at applebee's since everyone wasn't really available, it was just us to..i had fun, we both had steak since we knew we can't be eating meat the next day. todaaaay, work in the morning..trained the new guy westley..wow they actually trust me in training new ppl now haha, its nice, cuz my boss's trust me ;D .. after work, i initially planned to take a nap, but i ended up not, cuz my mom wanted me to go macy's and buy her some makeup just so she can the gift of purchase lol. ate at panda express of course cuz its friday, and i love my eggplant tofu on no meat fridays haha. after all that, went home, and now i'm reaaaaaaaaal bored, there's a session 2night at the club, but gina's not going..she says she sick, and i dont go out without her, so im not going to, so i'm here at home, wasting away, making fake stories with spica haha. 2mrw i work in the morning again..gonna hit the sacks sooon..goodnight and godbless

go listen to "i'll be there" by Sarah Geronimo ft. Howie D. (from the backstreet boys) i have that song on repeat HAHHH love it